I’m 79 and need a hip replacement. My husband passed away in 2020, so I have no one to help me with my recovery. Spring is just about here, and I can not take advantage of it. Here I sit, looking out the window in the living room. I am grieving for my way of life. I will miss the mountains that surround me. I will miss the deer that feed in the yard. I will miss the village that I live in on a dead-end road. I will miss the beautiful Lycoming Creek, where I taught my Granddaughter to swim a lifetime ago. I will miss the solitude I have dealt with since 2020. The grief comes out of nowhere. I sob in the silence of my home. Grief physically hurts. When the grief releases me, I am drained.

My son and daughter-in-law have invited me to live with them for the rest of my life. Only God knows how long that will be. I will leave my three-story home for a bedroom and living room with windows facing a factory. There are no mountains, no deer, and a ball tossed would hit the neighbor’s house!

Spring is arriving in Pennsylvania. Today is warm, and the sun is shining brightly. I should be outside tending to the flowers around my home, but instead, I find myself reminiscing about the past. My neighbors are starting spring cleanup, and I am usually the first. This will be the first time I won’t be caring for my flowers. Still, I can enjoy watching them emerge from the warming soil. Daffodils, hyacinths, Easter lilies, and bleeding hearts are just a few of the beautiful blooms I look ahead to seeing.

Please understand me. Living the rest of my life with family is something some seniors don’t have the pleasure of doing. I feel truly blessed to have my son, who wants me to share what years I have. I have been away from my native land in Lower Bucks County for 35 years. It will be a whole new way of life for me. I pray that someday I will not grieve for the memories and lifestyle I am leaving behind.